IN MY FATHER’S EYES
My Father and I have had our ups and downs, as we all tend to. I’m having a ‘down’ with my own children at the moment actually, which I hope to God will pass. We shall see.
I’ve written about the loss of my Mum and the devastating effect it has had on me.
Dad and I had been estranged over something dumb for nearly a decade. Then suddenly I heard from my stepmother, who is an expert peacemaker, a few weeks ago. She told me she had tried to reach out to an old phone number upon knowing of Mum’s death, and had just found the new number. I change numbers a lot.
There was one sentence she wrote that sealed the reonciliation. It was simply “When your Father heard the news about your Mother he shed a tear.” That was all I needed to hear. That he cared. For her and by extension, me.
Dad and I proceeded to have a long and deeply interesting conversation. And he’s coming to see me in a few weeks here at the beach, actually. And I am delighted. It took too long.
Point? Reconciliation matters, and it is is easier than it seems. We apologized and just moved on. And it is beautiful. I felt like an orphan for a bit, but having my realtionship with my Dad restored means the world to me. I’m crying just writing about it. But when I write, I usually cry…so, you know…
Anyway. If you are having difficulty in your life with a truly loved one, don’t wait for someone to die in order to fix it. Just fucking fix it. It will make your soul and your world so much better. No matter how sweet the song is, we do not have all the time in the world.
Are you struggling with a loved one? Perhaps they are shedding a tear for you.
In such troubled times, love must rule (thank you Lenny).
I love you, Dad. I can’t wait to walk with you on the beach.